I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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