There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize