everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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