You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
