girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dignity is for republicans.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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