Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
