Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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