We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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