I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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