were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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