I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
