People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
