Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
