hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
