Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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