I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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