Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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