I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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