I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
