I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize