She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
