Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
