who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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