kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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