So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are the jesus of drinking
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
