I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
