you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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