omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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