She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
