Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
