yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
