I think im going to throw up on grandma
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
