Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
