I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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