Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
