there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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