I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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