There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
