This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
too bad you live with your parents still
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
