Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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