I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
