Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
