Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
