I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
