I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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