It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
