it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
