i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
