I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
