As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
