let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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