so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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