I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
