God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
