Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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