All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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