He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize