oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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