I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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