Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And then my night got REAL pukey
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
