My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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